Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Big Bird Romney at the Third Presidential Debate

Last night at the third Presidential debate Mitt Romney unzipped the chicken hawk costume that he had worn just two weeks ago when delivering his foreign policy address.  Guess who  popped out? None other than Big Bird. 

Chicken Hawk Romney was itching to insert US troops into every hot spot in the world to teach the bad guys a lesson.  Big Bird Romney is a virtual pacifist. 

True, Big Bird Romney first did put on a Chicken Little routine – the world is such a terrible and scary place: Arab Spring, Middle East, Syria, Mali, Al-Qaeda, Egypt, Muslim Brotherhood, Iran, Russia, China… 

However, when it came to policy matters Big Bird was a real Obama fan – congratulations Mr. President “on taking out Osama bin Laden and going after the leadership in Al-Qaeda.”

Chicken Hawk Romney had said it was a tragedy that President Obama pulled US troops out of Iraq.  Big Bird Romney thought it was just dandy that he had done so. 

Chicken Hawk Romney had railed endlessly against Obama for having set 2014 as the date for withdrawal of US troops from Afghanistan.  Big Bird Romney said that 2014 sounded just fine to him. 

President Obama’s bailing out of General Motors?  Chicken Hawk Romney wanted to "Let Detroit Go Bankrupt." Big Bird Romney thought the bailout was just right the medicine.

Did President Obama throw the US friendly tyrant Mubarak under the bus?  Not at all said Big Bird Romney.  Big Bird would also have told Mubarak that it was time to go.

US troops in Syria?  Big Bird wouldn’t think of it.

Obama’s handling of Libya? – Big Bird had nothing to complain of there.

Obama’s sanctions on Iran? – just the way to go said Big Bird.

Drone strikes – just what the doctor ordered.

So the evening went.  Hard for the President to find anything to criticize in Big Bird Romney’s foreign policy - version October 22, 2012 – for it is exactly the same as Mr. Obama’s.  The President pointed out that a commander-in-chief and leader of the free world needs to be clear and resolute.  As he promised Mr. Obama did end the Iraq war, did hunt down Bin Laden and the Al Qaeda leadership, and is winding down the Afghanistan war.  In contrast, Mr. Romney changes his foreign policies as frequently as he changes his etch-a-sketch domestic policies (or his bird costumes) and thus Mr. Romney is ill suited for the office he seeks. 

Big Bird’s response to Mr. Obama's analysis of Mr. Romney's record was to plaintively ask the President not to criticize him.

Throughout the evening Big Bird tried hard to recite all the world facts he had been asked to memorize.  Big Bird did slip up there however.  Big Bird Romney stated that "Syria is Iran's gateway to the sea."  Funny, Iran has 1,500 miles of coastline (ever hear of the “Persian” Gulf?) and no border with Syria.  Big Bird Romney and his debate coaches must have missed the geography lessons on Sesame Street – perhaps Chicken Hawk Romney had banned them from watching the show.

No comments:

Post a Comment